Helping Yourself, Helping Others

What should I do if I am sexually assaulted?

• Find a safe environment - anywhere away from the attacker. Ask a trusted friend stay with you for moral support.
• Preserve evidence of the attack - don't bathe or brush your teeth. Write down all the details you can recall about the attack & the attacker.
• Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, for free, confidential counseling, 24 hours a day: 1-800-656-HOPE.
• Get medical attention. Even with no physical injuries, it is important to determine the risks of STDs and pregnancy.
  • To preserve forensic evidence, ask the hospital to conduct a rape kit exam.
  • If you suspect you may have been drugged, ask that a urine sample be collected. The sample will need to be analyzed later on by a forensic lab.
• Report the rape to law enforcement authorities. A counselor can provide the information you'll need understand the process.
• Remember it wasn't your fault.
• Recognize that healing from rape takes time. Give yourself the time you need.
• Know that it's never too late to call. Even if the attack happened years ago, the National Sexual Assault Hotline can still help. Many victims do not realize they need help until months or years later.

How can I help a friend who has been sexually assaulted?

• Listen. Be there. Don't be judgmental.
• Encourage your friend to seriously consider reporting the rape to law enforcement authorities. A counselor can provide the information your friend will need to make this decision.
• Be patient. Remember, it will take your friend some time to deal with the crime.
• Let your friend know that professional help is available through the National Sexual Assault Hotline.
• Encourage him or her to call the hotline, but realize that only your friend can make the decision to get help.

What can I do to reduce my risk of sexual assault?

• Don't leave your beverage unattended or accept a drink from an open container.
• When you go to a party, go with a group of friends. Arrive together, watch out for each other, and leave together.
• Be aware of your surroundings at all times.
• Don't allow yourself to be isolated with someone you don't know or trust.
• Think about the level of intimacy you want in a relationship, and clearly state your limits.

How can I protect my child from sexual abuse?

While there is no sure-fire way to protect your child from all dangers, there are some steps that you can take to help reduce the risk of him or her being sexually assaulted:

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

• Tell your children that you are always there to talk about anything. Tell them that you are there to help them solve problems and to protect them.
• Teach your children that it is against the “rules” for adults to act in a sexual way with children and use examples.
• Teach your children that their bodies are their own and that it is OK if they don't want a hug or other contact that might make them uncomfortable.
• Speak to your children about using the proper names for their body parts. Armed with information, children are better able to report abuse to you.
• Model comfort when talking about these issues. If you are not tense talking about these issues, then they are less likely to be worried about talking.
• Talk to your children about sex when they show interest or curiosity.

Teach your children that it’s OK to say no and it’s OK to leave the situation.

• Tell them that if someone does something to make them uncomfortable that they should tell that person that they are uncomfortable. Emphasize to them that if the person doesn't listen, doesn't stop, or continues to make them feel uncomfortable that they should tell someone- a parent, teacher, trusted adult.
• Tell them that if anyone touches them on the body parts that are covered by a bathing suit, then they should tell an adult they trust. Tell them that it is OK to say no and to leave the situation. Tell them that you can later figure out together if the person was trying to be helpful or not.

Trust your own instincts. If your instincts tell you something is wrong, follow-up.

• Call a hotline such as the Darkness to Light hotline that can connect you to resources in your community (1-800-FOR-LIGHT) or the Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD).
• Contact a local Children's Advocacy Center. They coordinate professionals who are there to help in a a case (legal, social services, medical, etc.). To find a center near you contact the National Children's Alliance (1-800-239-9950).

Stay calm if a child discloses abuse to you, or hints at possible abuse.

• Don't overreact.
• Believe the child and communicate that belief to him or her.
• Thank the child for telling you and praise his or her courage for speaking up.
• Emphasize that what happened to the child was not his or her fault and that the child did not deserve to be treated like that.
• Encourage the child to talk but don't push for or imply details. Ask questions such as, "what happened next?"
• Get professional help for the child.
• Tell the child that it is your responsibility to keep the child safe and that you will do the best you can to protect him or her.
• Report to the local police or child protective services agency.

For information about Internet safety, download A Parent's Guide to Internet Safety from the FBI. The materials are available in English & Spanish.

For information about warning signs for childhood sexual abuse visit The National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information.

If you are a victim of a sexual assault or a friend/family member of a victim and you are willing to share your experience, we are looking for members for the RAINN Speakers Bureau.